Saturday 18 July 2015

New Beginnings Have Just Begun..




Well, actually, the new beginning started three years ago, but any excuse to use a line from a Bucks Fizz song. However, this is the first blog post I've done since the Effexor one, and boy have things changed!

My husband and separated three and a half years ago, I have a boyfriend of three years, and am now living in an apartment in a lovely, small gated development with its own communal garden. The kids love it and the location couldn't be better - right in the town, near the train station. Yeah, that's another thing that's changed. I no longer have the use of a car, but hey,  I'm happy to sit on the train or the bus and let someone else worry about the driving, whilst I listen to cheesy music. I've gone from co-owning three properties and driving a Mercedes, to owning no property and just renting, and driving nothing (yes, I left hubby with ownership of everything). And do you know what, I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm starting a new job with the Vincent De Paul on Monday, have signed with an agency for commercial modelling (even if I never get modelling work I don't care - they were interested!), and am working on developing more opportunities for more freelance work, which I've let slide in the past while, due to this and that.

There's been a seismic shift. I've discovered strength I never dreamed I could have. I'm alive. I've got the things and people that matter. Some people I cut off, deservedly so. And some wonderful people have come into my life.

With that shift in my personal life, there's also been the realisation that most things in this world are not as they seem. It's as if the veil was lifted from my eyes in every way, and one opened the door for the other, as soon as I decided to be true to myself. We are bombarded with false messages and the elites are well and truly screwing us over. It's always going to be this way, and it always was. But we cannot let it get under our skin. We must fight to be happy, and to try to bring happiness to others. We cannot, in practice, live outside the system, but we can try to make it work for us, rather than the other way round. That's why I'm working to be as self sufficient as I possibly can, despite those who might like to see me in the gutter. Hasn't happened yet, and won't happen, sorry to disappoint you feckers, but I'm a strong bitch. I know that now.

Open your minds, follow your gut instincts and work towards your dreams. Even if you don't realise them, at least you can say you tried. It's worse not to try and to fall into a rut. Been there, done that.
Learn as much as you can about life's mysteries. Be around people who create, who are positive. Cling to the light.
Be happy and be fabulous :)