My Nala Hair Extensions

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Recently, I did something I thought I’d never do, and had sometimes scoffed at others for doing – I got hair extensions.  This piece will very much seem like a paid promotion, but it isn’t.  It is, however, an unashamed endorsement for the business who did my extensions because of the difference it has made to me, and if I had not come across their social media page, I’d never have considered having them.

To me, hair extensions, although they look nice and have come a long way in the past few years from looking ridiculously synthetic, seemed too much trouble.  Still, I had inquired about getting them and had been in fact warned off them by a local hairdresser – she said she had seen too many cases of the person’s real hair being damaged by extensions and that they were too hard to look after.  Fair play to that hairdresser because her own salon could have made a lot of money from me that day and just fitted them for me, but she was honest and said I should concentrate on getting my own hair into better condition.

So, as far as I was concerned, extensions were for other people.  Not me.  I wistfully looked at ladies and girls in pictures and real life with long hair and resigned myself to never having it myself. I wished mine could grow past shoulder length without looking ratty, but could never seem to do anything with it, bar do my roots and give myself the occasional trim.  On rare occasions it looked okay, quite nice even, but mostly I’d have to spend ages in front of the mirror trying to get it to look good, often to no avail.  Add to this that I’m pushing 45, and you may understand why my self-esteem regarding my appearance was not always great.

I accidentally came across the page for Nala Hair Extensions, owned by Karolina Raczka, whilst idly browsing through social media one day.  I’m not sure if it was originally on Facebook or Instagram I saw it (she has a presence on both), but I noticed that she fixed other people’s hair – people who’d had unsuccessful applications of extensions.  There were pictures of the state of their hair before going to her, and how good it looked afterwards.  It wasn’t always full heads of hair applied at Nala Hair Extensions - there were people with very fine hair who she gave an aesthetic boost to by adding a small amount of extensions – it made all the difference. She was using a method rarely, if ever, used in Ireland, called Kera Wax.  It was much kinder to hair, even fragile hair, it appeared, than any other method.  What’s more, this lady who was using this method was in my home town of Balbriggan. 

I decided that maybe I should give consideration to having extensions after all, but only with her.  Like any extensions, they were not going to be cheap, but her prices were certainly not extortionate – in fact they were more than reasonable considering the time she spends dying the hair by hand and sourcing the hair.  As stated and illustrated on her social media page, she sources virgin Slavic hair and Russian hair in individual ponytails, not pre-packaged like many salons.  I decided it was worth the sacrifice, even if I had to get a small loan, and I would go for a consultation.

Therefore, I contacted Karolina, made an appointment for application for 21st December, and the consultation appointment for 3 days beforehand.  Nala Hair Extensions is run from Karolina’s home, which is only 10 minutes’ walk from my own.  The consultation was very reassuring, Karolina was lovely, we agreed a price, and I could hardly wait until application day. It was agreed that Slavic virgin hair would be more suitable for me than Russian, as my hair is quite fine. We decided she would match the Slavic virgin hair to my own hair and also put in a little bit of brown to add some interest and “break it up”. When the day finally came, the application took 3 hours, during which she put on Box Sets of Big Bang Theory for me and we chatted.  When it was finished, I could hardly believe how good it looked.  It was wonderful.  Finally, the long, wavy hair I’d always dreamed of!  It looked so natural, too.

I’ve had the extensions two weeks today.  How have they been?  Fabulous!  None of the extensions have come out. Kera Wax bonds are so much easier to manage than other bond methods, I was advised by Karolina.  She is right.  Yes, it is a new way of looking after your hair, as all the time you have to be aware of being careful, even down to putting a bag on your shoulder, that the hair doesn’t get caught in it.  But when you’ve made a financial investment like that in your hair, of course you’re going to be more careful with it anyway – unless you have lots of money to throw away, which I certainly don’t.   You are automatically more careful when brushing your hair.  There are things one has to do like always ensure to blow dry the bond part of the hair after washing, and sleep with hair in a braid to avoid tangling. I purchased a hair extension brush (well, 2 actually, one for spare!) in Penney’s for €3.50, and a paddle brush and round brush from Boots (own brand) which are softer and more suitable for hair extensions.  I also purchased a tangle teasing brush from my local discount shop for less than €5.00 for when hair is wet.  Also, it is advised to use sulphate-free shampoo.  I did purchase some sulphate-free shampoo and I do use it, but not every time I wash my hair.  The thing I don’t like about sulphate-free is that it doesn’t lather up, and so shampooing is a bit more of a pain – if it’s been a few days you wonder if you’re really getting your hair clean or not.  So sometimes I do use “ordinary” shampoo as well – I alternate.  Of course, I use deep conditioner on the lengths – the extensions are real hair and will be as susceptible to dryness as any other hair.  It’s important to keep the hair looking healthy.  Night-washing is probably better than morning washing as, after drying the bonds of the hair, I like to try to let the rest of the hair dry naturally so there isn’t too much heat exposure. The hair extensions are still a lot easier to look after than I thought extensions would be, no doubt because of the Kera Wax bonding method. 

There are so many practical advantages to the extensions.  One thing is that you will probably get one or two more days (or maybe even more) out of your hair between washes, because the oil from the roots doesn’t travel to the ends like it would start to with your own hair.  Another is that it saves time in front of the mirror because once you’ve brushed, you’re pretty much good to go, bar if you want to put your hair up or back of course.  You won’t be thinking “urgh no that looks horrible” and fiddling around with it, as you might have pre-extensions.  You know your hair looks fine. 

Regarding after care, it will be required that you go back to Nala Hair Extensions every twelve weeks (although it will be ten weeks after the initial application) in order to get the bonds repositioned, as the hair grows.  But that’s expected, and it will keep the hair looking fresh.  Again, there is a cost involved, but not anything like the initial application.  If you have coloured hair like mine, it can still be coloured.  Try to avoid the bonds, although with Kera Wax bonds, it is possible to colour them.  Karolina recommended a local hairdressers to me – House of Hair - which is used to colouring her clients after they’ve had extensions applied, should I not want to do it myself.  I did my roots prior to having the extensions applied so it’ll be another few weeks before I have to colour the roots again.  A T-bar may be advisable rather than all-over colour.  We’ll see.

How do the hair extensions make me feel?  They have improved my confidence no end.  At 45 this month, and feeling like my age was catching up with me, I just wanted to feel more presentable, and hell, even glamourous.  This was my Christmas and birthday present to myself, as I never spend any serious money on myself.  Most of my money goes on my children, like most mothers, and when it comes to myself, I’m quite stingy about what I spend.  This time was the exception.  Uncharacteristically for me, I also got my nails done and might have re-fills every so often. Looking down at nice nails cheers me up. But back to the hair. No matter what is going on in my life, I know that my hair looks good.  For a woman, the hair is so much part of the identity, rightly or wrongly.  If our hair doesn’t look good, we don’t feel we look good overall.  It really has made an enormous difference to the way I feel and the way I carry myself.  I can go out in public or to work and not feel I look crappy.  I’m so thrilled that I “accidentally” found Nala Hair Extensions on social media because I feel my hair can look good without any damage being done to my own hair.  The Kera Wax bonding method originated in Germany around ten years ago and is used a lot in Poland.  Given that the method is so fabulous, I am surprised it is not extensively used in Ireland.  Who wouldn’t want hair extensions applied using this method, when it’s so kind to hair, and looks so natural?  However, it does mean that Nala Hair Extensions, and Karolina who owns it, are more exclusive, and I can enjoy them for a little longer before everybody starts to want to go to her!  Everyone who has discovered her would never go back to anyone else for extensions.  

I intend to have the extensions for as long as I can keep affording them (having the bonds repositioned).  Cannot see myself wanting to give them up easily!  Thank you, Nala Hair Extensions and Karolina, for giving me the hair I’ve always dreamed of.  You’ve made an ageing lady very happy.

Louis Theroux – How We’ve All Grown Up Together.

Watching last night’s Louis Theroux “Talking to Anorexia”, and also the recent trilogy “Dark States”, I’ve been struck by Louis’ transition into serious documentary-maker and more rounded human being.  His emotional connection and sympathy for the people in his documentaries seems to be more visible.  His discomfort and helplessness at their situation is closer to the surface.  The camera close-ups of his facial expressions reveals a depth we may not have seen quite so much when he was younger, because naturally, the life experiences were different. One suspects that because he is a family man now, he might be feeling more paternal, and perhaps wondering how he’d feel if it were his daughter or son.  

When Louis first started out, it was as a spectator of weirdness in all its forms, whether it be people who believed in aliens, or swingers, or survivalists. He immersed himself in the worlds of the participants of the films, in order to better understand where they were coming from.  It wasn’t too long before he started spending time with certain British celebrities who could be described as “eccentric” to say the least.  I’ve covered Savile in another post and so won’t go over it again here, but the films with The Jangly Beast and Max Clifford will of course be seen in a different light now that some of their crimes are public knowledge.  The Max Clifford episode was one I didn’t really enjoy at the time, because of the pointless game-playing that Clifford indulged in.  The films always worked best when there was more warmth between Louis and his subjects.

My father introduced me to the work of Louis Theroux around 2000 or 2001 (even if he did pronounce his name at the time as “Louis Ferrouey” – sorry Dad!).  The episode with the swingers in America was the first piece of work I saw.  That night I had a dream that I was stuck in a room with writhing naked bodies of older, not particularly attractive, people – thanks for that Louis!  I was single at the time and still living at home. 

I would watch the Anna Nicole Smith reality show around that time, the irony escaping me that as I was thinking how sad it was that she was going around with slurred speech hooked on tranquilisers and goodness knows what else, I was also hooked on sleeping pills and the odd Xanax.  I can only guess what Louis would have made of that, had I been a well-known subject of his.  But anyway, I overcame that, and went on to marry and have 2 children.  A few years later, I separated from my husband, and we both formed new relationships with new partners, whom we are still with.  Throughout it all, Louis and his documentaries were there, and he himself was going through his own life changes.

Relationship break-ups and becoming a parent cannot fail to change a person, and hopefully make them grow up, adding more layers to the personality.  Whilst I may not have been a child when I first watched Louis Theroux’s work, I certainly had a lot of growing up to do.  As is the case with most people, the same is probably true of Louis.  As the years went by, Louis was tackling more serious subjects, and becoming somewhat of a national treasure.

Louis seems a lot more comfortable with the spotlight now, even appearing relatively recently with his wife on a celebrity edition of “Pointless”.  It’s something I cannot imagine the Louis of, say, 2001, doing, as well-known as he was even then.  By the way did I mention that his wife Nancy Strang used to follow me on Twitter on my old “Miss Lanor” account? I cringe at the crap posts she would have seen from me, but never mind.  Anyway, Louis was always uncomfortable with being the celebrity himself, only engaging with the press if and when he really had to.  Now, however, he seems to accept that he is well-known and may as well enjoy it.  Whilst he still does not appear to court celebrity, he probably figures he may as well enjoy some of its trappings – he’s bloody well earned it after all, and done his time.

One piece of work he did which was on a subject affecting me, was the one on dementia and Alzheimer’s.  I watched it before my mother was diagnosed, and then after, when it was repeated.  Of course it had much more significance after.  When Louis was left to look after a lady with dementia for the day, whilst her husband went out for a while, he was rather good at it – the distraction techniques he used, and his usual thing of not patronising his subjects, meant that pretty much anyone should be happy to leave their loved one in his care for a day!

Louis and his documentaries have been pretty much a constant in our lives for over 15 years.  He’s changed, and so have we.  In a way, everything has changed for me.  And then, in a way, when my children’s father has them and I’m in my father’s house watching Louis with him, it’s almost a confirmation that some things don’t – the good things.  My father introduced me to Louis, and now my boyfriend/partner also watches Louis with me.  I would not have imagined 15 years ago what my life would be like now – I wasn’t sure I’d still be here to be honest, or even if I wanted to be, at times.  But I’m certainly glad I stuck around, and I’m glad Louis is still making documentaries, with each passing year getting even better, as he matures.  If he keeps going the way he is, I can see him being on our screens for many years to come, and being regarded, as indeed he already is, as one of the greatest documentary makers of our time.

Louis Theroux and Jimmy Savile - "It's Only Obvious if You Know the Answer"

Am I jumping on a bandwagon here by posting about this? Probably, but I write when I have something to say, so I'll say it. Firstly, I was not impressed by today's Daily Fail piece on the "Savile" documentary by Louis Theroux last night, with the headline containing the words "viewers left sickened by....". This piece was adding to the voices of those who imagined that Louis should have seen Savile for exactly what he was, and acted like some kind of hero back in the early 2000s, doing what no-one else had been able to do, and help bring Savile to justice.

It's on record that Louis did report to the BBC that he had seen Savile acting inappropriately with a young woman in a restaurant, but nothing was done about it. How exactly would Louis have been able to help bring Savile down anyway, even if he had been fully aware of exactly the type of monster he was dealing with? The Jangly Beast had evaded police prosecution, had a history of being litigious, and he had obtained Louis' private home address for goodness sake! He also had many friends in high places. What could Louis have done that no-one else was able to do?

It's easy to be an expert with the benefit of hindsight. It's easy to say "Oh I always knew Savile was a wrong 'un and I hated 'Jim'll Fix It'". For some people that statement is genuinely true. But "Jim'll Fix It" had millions of viewers and ran for about 20 years, with no shortage of people writing in and asking for their dreams to be made reality. If the amount of people who say they hated it, really did, then surely it wouldn't have stayed on the air. Let's face it, whilst in later years most of us thought Savile eccentric, we were duped. There's no shame in admitting that. It's on him, not on us. A psychopath might give clues which, with hindsight, were obvious, but generally they are very good at covering their tracks.

Plenty of us have known people who we later found out were capable of horrible things. I myself worked with a man years ago in a well known Irish bank, and he seemed a lovely man. Very mild mannered and inoffensive. A family man. Imagine my shock when, years later, I was reading the paper on my lunch hour in another job, and saw that man's face on one of the pages, with an article underneath it reporting that he had committed suicide because he'd been prosecuted for having child porn on his computer.

As Louis Theroux himself said in the documentary last night "Evil people can do good things". Savile knew how to charm people. I can remember even feeling a bit sorry for Savile in the original documentary, aired back in 2001, as he didn't seem to have any real friends and lived a very solitary life. I even found it funny when he was evading Louis' questions and saying "He's on the ropes!".  I can understand how he must have charmed Louis. Even though Louis had heard unsavoury things about Savile, along with so many others, that is not the same as having proof. Savile was too well connected to be touched anyway. If police forces couldn't bring him down (it's known that he was a suspect in the Yorkshire Ripper case, for instance) , what chance had anyone else got? So for people who pick out various BBC personalities and say that it's all very well admitting after his death that they'd heard the rumours - well what could they have done about it exactly? He would have still gotten away with it even if they reported him. However it came to be that way, the fact was, he was untouchable because of whoever and whatever he was involved with, and there wasn't a hope in hell he was going to be brought down because it would have implicated too many others in high places. Same as another celebrity, still living, that I believe will not be touched until after his death, when it will all come out.

And yes, I liked "Jim'll Fix It". I liked Jimmy Savile as a presenter. And, as hard and horrific as it is to admit it, I thought he seemed good with children and was the best person for the show. I watched things he also presented like "Play It Safe" as well. I'd enjoy it when he'd turn up as a "talking head" on retrospective programmes. In his later years he seemed ever more eccentric, and became more embarrassing, and this did also come across in Louis' original documentary on him. But no, I won't try to sound more perceptive than I actually was, and pretend that I was never hoodwinked by him, because I was. And I don't think there is any shame in me, or anyone else, being in that predicament. A paedophile and psychopath is not going to advertise it are they, except to those they actually abuse. Sure, they'll give clues, and tell us what they are sometimes, but we'll laugh and dismiss it as a joke until it's all come out in the open.

It was before his death that I was told, by a friend of a friend on FB, to Google Savile and Jersey. I did, and then.... well, then I knew. So the revelations after his death were not a surprise to me, except for the sheer scale of his crimes. Since then, I've come to believe, partly from the research done by my friend Thomas Sheridan, that Savile was more of a monster than most people would ever or could ever countenance. Here is a blog to start you all off with, if you want to go down that route, and do search out Thomas' other work on Savile.

So Louis Theroux, I believe, did a good job in the original documentary, and in last night's one. He did what he could do, with the knowledge and perception that he had. Yes, he was charmed to a certain extent (that's on Savile, not on Louis). He is human, not psychic. What is obvious now was not obvious then. So keep on being a brilliant documentary maker Louis - be proud, not guilty.

A Stroke of Luck!

Well well well, look at this article in The Mirror!  

How fortuitous for the BBC that such an article would appear, and that the police have referred themselves (yes, referred themselves, fancy that!) for investigation. The legal proceedings which Tony has allegedly brought against the BBC may now be delayed, and the public support which Tony has, may suffer a slight dent (only amongst the dim, so no great loss) as some of them wonder "What if it was covered up because there was something in it?". This is probably exactly what the BBC wants people to wonder, of course. Anything to detract from the fact that one of the most prolific and depraved sex offenders, and possibly worse, worked for them, seemingly unchecked, for many years.  The vast majority of people are clued in, much to the BBC's chagrin, probably, about what kind of man Tony Blackburn is, and legions of people can attest to his propriety and professionalism. 

So yes, the police referred themselves for investigation, eh? Remember Tony was interviewed on BBC Radio 4 and said that if there was an allegation at the time, then he indeed should have been investigated? Well, how kind of the police to kindly oblige, all these years later. I can just imagine the big bosses at the BBC: "Oh you think there should have been an investigation? Well now you'll get one alright! See how smug you feel about your legal action and your public support now!". 

The Mirror article is so carefully worded - one can just imagine their lawyers going through it to ensure clearance for publication. It would be laughable if it wasn't a 73 year old man's life, family and livelihood being affected. And for what? His recollection of events being different from the BBC's. 

Other broadcasters such as Iain Lee, Danny Baker, and Martin Kelner also know what it's like to be treated shoddily by the BBC, so Tony is not alone. They will probably recognise this new development for what it most likely is, too.

"Awful Auntie" and Tony Blackburn

Regrettably, this is not a review of the excellent David Walliams’ book, which my children adore, but some reflections on the bizarre situation in which Tony Blackburn has found himself with the BBC, which was affectionately known in years gone by, as Auntie.  Right now, however, amongst the public, media, and Tony’s fellow broadcasters, there is about as much affection for the BBC as a Rottweiler would have for someone who tried to touch his food.  I apologise to all Rottweilers for mentioning the BBC in the same sentence as them.

“There once was a DG called Hall;

Who needed someone to take a fall;

He picked on poor Tony;

But the public were moany;

Now DG has no job at all.”

Oh how I’d love for the above to come true!

How convenient for the BBC, that just as the Dame Janet Smith Savile report, surprise surprise, concluded that top level management at the BBC did not know about Savile’s atrocities (Come on, did you really expect any other finding? Really?  If so, then you’re very naïve.), that our focus should be taken off the actual conclusion by the bizarre sacking of a legendary broadcaster. 

Tony and the BBC are at odds regarding whether or not he was interviewed in 1971 regarding Claire McAlpine by BBC management staff.  He says he wasn’t; they say he was.  From what I know of the man, I believe that he would have answered honestly, whatever questions were put to him.  I can easily imagine pressure being put on him to change his answers so that they tallied with the BBC’s version, but he was adamant that the interviews did not take place. Even if it were to turn out he was mistaken (and somehow I think he’d remember something as important at the time as that), I still don’t believe that would be a good enough reason to sack him.

As much of a fan of Tony’s as I’ve always been, even I have been surprised at just how much outpouring of support there has been for him.  There’ll always be a few morons who’ll spout accusatory, poorly-spelled comments, but they really have been few and far between.  The vast majority see the situation as outrageous and totally unjust.  “Civilians” and celebrities alike have been united in expressing their utter disgust and disbelief.

The allegations made in 1971 were not the issue, but it is worth mentioning that even memos from that year show that the BBC felt it would have been totally out of character (doubt they ever felt that about Jimmy Savile) for him to have behaved in the way the allegations said he did, and that it was highly unlikely there was any substance to the claims. The internet has also been rife, since the revelation of his sacking, with people who’ve spent time in his presence when younger, saying how safe they felt with him, and that he didn’t act in a sleazy manner.  In his autobiography “Poptastic” (highly recommended by the way), I distinctly remember him mentioning how he used to prefer to date people closer to his age and didn’t bother with much younger women.

Tony Blackburn had been one of the celebrities helping publicise the campaign to “Save Our BBC”.  He could be forgiven right now for wishing for the complete opposite.  Between Radio 2, Radio Berkshire and Radio London, three BBC stations had the benefit of listeners drawn in by Tony.  He had made a phenomenal success of “Pick of the Pops” .  It’s very hard to see how the BBC think they will recover listenership figures which will inevitably go down, at least for those time slots, first of all simply because Tony won’t be on those stations with his second-to-none DJ-ing skills, but also because fans have sworn they will now boycott these stations.

The BBC have made themselves a laughing stock and scored a spectacular own goal with this action.  They have shown themselves to be completely out of touch with the public.  Tony Blackburn elicits much respect and affection which the other Tony, BBC Director General Mr Hall, never has, and never will. “Awful Auntie” has seriously messed up, and will pay dearly for this mistake.  They failed regarding Savile, the serial sex offender and possibly worse (google Thomas Sheridan’s writings on Savile – that’s all I’ll say), and have been floundering in the dark desperately trying to rectify their image ever since.  Sorry Mr Hall, it’s too late.  No-one else from the celebrity stable can or should pay for Savile, and especially not Tony Blackburn. There will no doubt be a smear campaign by the BBC to make Tony look guilty.  It's started already.  But that will give Tony even more ammunition to get them with in court, and the smart amongst us won't fall for the propaganda. Go get ‘em Tony xx

Light At The End of the Tunnel

What you're going through is temporary. It WILL get better. In the meantime think of all your blessings. You have people who love you. You have a beautiful soul and bestowed upon you is knowledge and a depth of feeling which many do not have. You know many beautiful secrets. You are a survivor. You kick ass. You have proven it time and time again.


Whatever you worry may happen, it will not be nearly as bad as you think it will be. Things will work out for good. Right now you feel you're not living, just existing. You want to be thriving and enjoying life again. Enjoy these quieter moments life has forced upon you. Use the opportunity to just "be" and nourish your soul. I promise you, you will not lose out on anything. You will come back stronger and what is meant to happen, the very best for you, will happen.


Don't let anyone or anything take away your inner peace. It may be disturbed for a while but never lose the essence of you. You are a powerful force. Look at what you have come through thus far!

Live moment by moment - it will all be ok, even in the midst of the most lousy storm. I promise. How do I know? Because I've been there several times. It's always ok. We are made of strong stuff :) But we're being looked after xx

It's All Grand #NoLikesNeeded #Dove

Today I've seen blogs which tie in with the Dove #NoLikesNeeded campaign and thought I'd add my thruppance worth. The premise of the campaign is that we don't need "likes" from others, and our own "like" for ourselves is the only one that counts. I largely agree with this sentiment. Ciara O'Doherty and Leanne Woodfull have done better posts on this, but I think it ties in nicely with the ethos behind Alternative Fashion Fest too, regarding self acceptance etc., so here goes.... 

I feel massively sorry for younger people today, or even people of my age who haven't gotten to that "well I think I'm alright and so do my nearest and dearest, so feck the rest of them" stage. Some people never get to it. But I think it's harder for younger people because they're used to an age where social media and how popular you are on it, is regarded as everything. It can seriously mess with your head if you take it all too seriously and feel you have to document every moment of your life and get loads of likes on it, or else. 

Regarding my own "selfies" - for some reason, people like them on FB, but on Instagram, they're about as popular as a fart in a lift. And that's grand. I normally stick to posting pics of other people anyway on Instagram - the beautiful models in Ireland who I pale in comparison to anyway. It's just funny to observe what gets liked on which site, and what doesn't. But I don't think "urgh, what an ugly piece of crap I am" if a selfie gets no likes. I just think "well love you're 41 and no-one has ever heard of you. They want to see proper experienced models"  (being signed to an agency, which I am - Frasers -  doesn't count when you haven't actually had any work from them!). So I'm okay with that, I'm grand, and delighted to promote others who deserve to be shown to the world, because they are absolutely beautiful. 

There was a profile pic competition on an Irish Pin Ups page recently and just for the craic I submitted a pic. Told no-one but my boyfriend. I wanted to see if it got any likes without lobbying for any. It got 13 (most got hundreds) and again, that was grand. At 41 I was doing well to get any. Again, all grand and just a bit of fun. 

So ladies and gents, if you can have a relaxed attitude towards feedback on posts and pics on social media and even in other areas of life, you'll be fine. If one post, or a few posts aren't popular, what of it? You're alive and you have blessings in your life - loved ones, and whatever other things are going on for you. Some of your posts will be popular and some won't. Some people will respond to you and some won't. Maybe the ones who didn't were just busy. Don't start thinking "aaargh, no-one likes me, I'm worthless". No you're not, you're just not the centre of everyone's universe, just like they are not the centre of yours (if they are, there is something wrong and you need to work on your self esteem). 

Relax and enjoy your life. Everybody has a worthwhile life to lead. All of us. Enjoy "real" life and don't elevate social media above its rightful place. Yes, it's part of all our lives, but don't ever judge your worth by it. Again, YOUR "like" is what matters, regarding yourself xx

Introducing: Sarah Bowles (for Alternative Fashion Fest - Ireland)

I interviewed the gorgeous Sarah Bowles, who is making her mark as a curvy model, as part of my series for Alternative Fashion Fest.....

Photography - Javier Leite. Swimsuit - Change Lingerie.

Photography - Carrigphotos. Styling & Trousers - Wear we Wander. Hair & Make-up - Angie McB. Jacket - Mercury Goes Retrograde. Accessories - Isobella Ru.

Photography - Carrigphotos. Dress and beaded cape - Devilish Designs by Gina. Styling - Wear we Wander. Hair & Makeup - Angie McB.

Please describe yourself and what you do, for people who don't know - what do you most want others to know about you?

I'm a plus size/curvy model based in Cork. I love all aspects of modelling, be it catwalk or photographic, and I want to promote size diversity in fashion. I also work full-time in a fabric shop and I'm a hat/headpiece designer in my spare time. I've recently started a blog called Curvy in Cork City but I'm still finding my feet in the blogging world so I hope people can be patient with me as I get the hang of it! (All advice welcome haha!) I love dancing, music, movies and animals. My British bulldog Lola never ceases to make me laugh, and my family and friends are very important to me.

Many congrats on winning the Irish Pin Ups

Profile Pic competition for October 2015 - how does it feel?

I'm absolutely delighted, and so thankful to everyone that liked my picture and made it possible for me to win the competition. The women involved were all beautiful - I was in very good company. I'm truly honoured to be the face of their page for the month of October as I love what they're promoting. I adore the pin-up style and hope to do more of that particular style of work in the future :)

It's all been happening for you recently - you've also recently signed up with Upfront Model Management! How did this come about, and describe your modelling journey and how it started for you.

As I'm 5'5" I knew I wouldn't be likely to be taken on by an agency in the early days, so I decided to get as much experience as possible and try to build up a portfolio of work. The first fashion show I took part in, I volunteered for. It was for a very special charity in Cork called The Girls Club. They're a cancer support centre run by an amazing team of women whom I admire very much. They were putting on a Curvy Girls Fashion Show bringing plus size boutiques from all over Ireland to show their clothes at the event.

After my first walk down the runway, I was hooked. It was such an adrenalin rush! At the end of the show I knew this was something I had to do more of. So I got involved in more charity fashion shows to gain more experience, and as I did, I realised this was something I needed to do with my life. I had found a passion for modelling. I was very lucky to be signed to V Plus Models in 2014 and had the most amazing year with Vicki  and the girls involved in the agency. It was an amazing time, during which I appeared on Ireland AM and The Saturday Night Show. I met and got to work with some amazingly talented and beautiful individuals. I'm now with Upfront Model Management and looking forward to working with them very much. Keep an eye on my Facebook modelling page for more updates!! :)

Like me, you love the fashions of the 1950s, and you also love charity shops, just like me! Tell us about some of your best finds.

I just adore the fashion of the 50s because to me it was the ultimate celebration of a woman's shape. It was all about accentuating the natural curves we all have. I have a wardrobe full of fit and flare style dresses, as well as some beautiful fitted pencil dresses reminiscent of the era.

One of my favourite shops has to be Devilish Designs by Gina in Cork. She stocks retro inspired clothing from amazing brands like Lindy Bop and Pin-up Couture. My best investment piece ever was the black "Monica" dress from Pin-up Couture that I got in Gina's. It has built-in support and the ruching is really flattering. You just can't go wrong with a good black dress and this has to be my all time favourite.

Charity shops are full of hidden gems just waiting to be discovered. One of my best finds to date has to be a beautiful vintage black handbag I picked up for just €5 which will never go out of fashion. My mum is also great at finding me bits in charity shops. She got me a fab black and white striped pleated skirt (also vintage) for €5, which I adore, and I recently picked up an amazing pink 80s style peplum jacket (which I cannot wait to wear!!) for just €10. I love to dig through rails of clothes and find unique pieces that I can work into my wardrobe.

There seem to be more opportunities for curvy models in recent years. Do you think things will continue to get better for curvy models?

Yes I definitely think the world of fashion is very slowly but surely including more curvy models. (Did you see the pictures of Ashley Graham at NY Fashion Week recently?! Amazing!!) I think the industry is beginning to accept that we all want to see diversity on the catwalks. We want to see people we can relate to, modelling the clothes we'd like to wear, and seeing what they look like realistically. Modelling shouldn't just be open to women or men of a certain height, size, or shape. It doesn't show clothes to their full potential, in my opinion, so it makes sense to diversify.

You've described in your blog, how, 10 years ago, you were working in a retail outlet for a well-known plus-size fashion chain, and the images of the beautiful models in their advertising campaigns inspired you. Tell us a little more about that, and how it started you on your path to where you are today.

The images depicted beautiful women who looked happy and confident, despite being bigger than your "normal" woman. They were models like Candice Huffine and Crystal Renn, two of the worlds most famous plus size models at the time. It made me wonder why more retailers weren't using more models like them. They were women that you could relate to, that represented a more realistic body type and size. I've never been slim, and to be honest I don't think it would ever suit me to be, so to see women not far from the size I was, looking so beautiful and confident and happy - that's what I wanted to be. It took me a while after that though, to properly pursue modelling, but I'll always remember those pictures and how they made me feel a little less inadequate at the time.

What do you advise people who, for whatever reason, feel they are "not good enough" because their body shape is not what has traditionally been celebrated in the mainstream? How would you try to inspire them to reach for the stars?

We're all different shapes and sizes naturally, so we need to try our best to accept that. Our body shape, size or weight does not define us in any way. Yes, the models in the magazines are beautiful, but there are many forms of beauty, and as they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Try to appreciate the bits of yourself you like, and learn to love them if you can. Hold your head up high and be confident. We all have bad days where we're not so happy with how we look in the mirror, but we need to appreciate our bodies for what they do for us, and see we're not just our reflection. There is beauty far beyond physical appearance!

Do you think most women or men have to wait until we become little older to finally accept ourselves as we are, or do you think younger people are finally catching onto the body positive message?

I definitely think being a little older helps, because you come to realise that having the "perfect" body or look won't get you where you want to be in life. Teens are becoming more confident, but they are also the worst critics of themselves and others. We need to be teaching them about being happy in themselves by promoting healthy body image, and raising their self esteem. It's so difficult being a teenager - there's so much pressurei on them in all aspects of their lives. Wisdom is definitely something that comes with age, so we need to impart some of our wisdom on them to hopefully change their mindset when it comes to body image.

You did a photo shoot for the Naked issue of Stellar Magazine, and were interviewed about it for Full Frontal on RTE. What was that experience like?

It was nerve racking and daunting, to say the least, but it was also an amazing and very liberating experience. The crew on the day couldn't have been nicer, and the photographer and her assistant (both women) were so lovely - they put me at ease straight away. I decided to do it in a bid to make women see that you don't have to be any particular size to feel confident in your own skin. I was really happy with the final image too, and if I made even one woman feel better in her skin, then I achieved what I set out to do!

What do you think the Alternative Fashion Fest will bring to the Irish people, and what would you like to see it achieve?

I hope the Alternative Fashion Fest will highlight that diversity in fashion is most definitely on the rise in Ireland. It's fantastic that it will be giving a platform to designers, retailers and models of all types from around Ireland, and bringing all these like minded people together. I'm sure it will be a fantastic event and I'm really looking forward to it!!!

Finally, and I shall be asking everyone featured in this series this question, what are your hopes for the future?

I'd like to continue modelling and blogging, and eventually have my own millinery business. I want to continue to represent curvy ladies on the catwalks and hopefully inspire others to be happy and confident in their own skin. It's an uphill battle but it's getting less steep!! :)

Alternative Fashion Fest (Ireland) - Introducing: Rebelle Haze

As part of the build up to the Alternative Fashion Fest to be held in Dublin on 22 July 2016, I shall be interviewing various people from the alt scene in this country. 

Boy oh boy, what better way to start off the series, than introducing you all to the force of nature that is the inimitable Rebelle Hayes!

Courtesy of Boudoir Girls - make up artist: Colette

Please describe yourself and what you do, for people who don't know - what do you most want others to know about you?

My name is Rebelle and I’m a 28 year old fierce, fat, feminist with a love of all things glitter. I have multiple tattoos and piercings but not nearly as many as I’d like. My body canvas is a work in progress. I’m a mental health advocate, body positive activist, blogger, writer, plus model, cruelty free beauty enthusiast and generally busy, shiny happy glitter fairy. 

It's been two years since your first blog - would you have believed you'd be where you are now, at the time you started out?

Absolutely not! My God, when I started I did it quietly and didn’t even let people know I was writing because I was so afraid of criticism and thought I couldn’t possibly compete with the wealth of talented bloggers out there. Thankfully I got a bit braver and just went for it and people responded really positively to that bravery. For whatever reason, people seem to be really positive towards me, my blog and my messages of self love. Of course I still get bitchiness and negativity, but that’s to be expected for anyone who puts themselves out there. But frankly I’m not in it for the negativity. If you can’t be nice, frankly you can f*ck off! 

You're very highly qualified in sexual health and have worked with various groups encouraging young people to be more relaxed about sexuality, etc. What was the driving force behind this?

Would you believe, it started very young. I was quite fortunate to be brought up in a home that was very open in terms of discussing bodies, bodily functions, sex and sexuality. Obviously it was all age appropriate, but no subject was taboo. Naturally this meant that I was very open and comfortable talking all things sex and body related, but soon discovered that not everyone felt the same as I did. I was once removed from a Sex Ed class in my school for querying why we weren’t going to cover contraceptives and STD’s. Half my class were already shagging, or at least claimed they were, so I thought this was the important sh*t they needed to know. Unfortunately my religion teacher did not feel the same, and so I was escorted out the door. 

As I got older I realised that, as a population, we have quite poor sexual health education, and bodily education in general, and that it was a subject people tried to avoid like the plague.  Because I didn’t, it just clicked as something I should do. It fitted me perfectly like my own little niche and I love it. It’s so much fun, teaching people things and making them squirm. It’s also a very vulnerable and raw thing to do, to talk about sex and sensuality.  It’s such an intimate thing to do, so people really have to trust you before they’ll open up properly. 

You were picked on quite badly in school, which must have been traumatic at the time. How did you come to terms with that and develop into the positive, inspiring person you are today?

Yeah, the bullying aspect is never fun. I imagine quite a number of “creatives” are picked on in school because generally we don’t fit in. We’re the fat kids, nerdy kids, queer kids and most likely don’t fit into the “cool” category - and I fit all those criteria.  Plus, I had horrible acne and awful glasses. In fairness it took me quite a few years to “find myself”, if that’s the right term. It sounds a bit wanky but it did take a number of years before I genuinely became comfortable in my own skin. We are really talking the last two or three years, and I’ll be honest, it’s mainly down to seeing other plus bloggers and models out there doing their thing unapologetically and saying "F*ck everyone and their opinions, just be you".  When you surround yourself with that kind of message and eliminate the negative body bashing bullsh*t, it becomes so much easier to be you unapologetically. 

Someone, or some people (I assume "basic bitches", to use a favourite term of yours!) told you that you weren't very good at writing, which obviously is rubbish because you're fantastic. What helped you ignore the negative voices and keep on doing what you're so gifted at?

*Laughs* Would you believe it was an English teacher who told me I was sh*t at writing. Obviously she didn’t use the word "sh*t", that would have been way harsh on a teenager, but nonetheless her words were less than encouraging. Because it was something I had wanted to do since I was tiny, I just decided to do it. I mean when I was a kid I would write out these stories that nobody ever read, and as a teenager I would write out my own sad "lil" erotica stories. Again, nobody ever read them, but it was a fun hobby to have. Even when I started writing, I decided to do it anonymously so that nobody would ever know it was me. However when I got more comfortable with myself I decided to just be brave and put myself out there. Thank f*ck I did - it’s one of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made. 

We're both admirers of Doodle Kennelly. Now there's someone who doesn't fit into a mould! I love her rawness. How did you first hear of her (I heard of her before I heard of her dad!) and what can people learn from her?

Would you believe I heard of her before her dad too! I remember seeing her in the Sunday Independent magazine, with her long black hair and gorgeous tattoos, talking about the surgery on her arms, and I instantly became obsessed. There was this amazing lady, who was so brave and open about all her “bad stuff”, and I wanted so badly to be as brave as her. Unfortunately my anxiety, lack of self confidence, and fear of what people thought held me back.

However, I got to know Doodle more through social media and we have had a number of conversations. She is so supportive of me and my writing. I consider her my own personal writing mentor, and when I question whether or not I should put something out there I genuinely think to myself "What would Doodle do?".  Which means I end up being brave, vulnerable and honest in some of my posts because that is most certainly what she would do. 

Tell us about the impact Tess Holliday had on you. From feeling that you had to cover up your body, to realising you were beautiful, that you were damn sexy, and becoming a model?

The fist time I encountered Tess Holliday was on Facebook. My initial reaction was not a good one. I was so full of self loathing and negativity that I could not see the beauty in her. I couldn’t believe how she was just able to show off her body the way she did - and this was in her early days just going sleeveless! But the more I looked at her and watched her, the more I fell in love. I realised that my negative reaction was not my own, but the voices of all the people who had told me awful things, and the body bashing I had seen in mainstream media. 

She was the personification of what I wanted to look like but was never brave enough to be. I mean imagine getting your wobbly upper arms out in public for people to see - sure you couldn’t be doing that sort of thing!  It was a gradual process, but thanks to her I started to care less about what people thought of my fat body, and started to wear clothes I wanted to wear.  I wore things I wanted to instead of hiding away, completely afraid that people would know I was fat - as if being a fat person was the worst thing I could be. When I discovered Tees, I had started to accept my face more, but my body was another story. 

I can pinpoint the day I fell in love with my body - it was the day I did a photo shoot with Natalie from Boudoir Girls in Galway.  She was the one who encouraged me to pose naked. The night before the shoot I wanted to be sick - the thoughts of getting naked in front of another person and showing off my wobbly bits and back fat made me want to curl up in a ball. Natalie was so lovely and easy going - before I knew it I was naked and laying on a duvet having a chat and giggle and being photographed. I felt amazing!! When I got the pictures back I loved them so much I decided that it would be a complete shame not to do more modelling work. 

I was surprised to hear the amount of rude questions and comments you've described receiving, regarding your tattoos. I don't have any myself but I like them on other people and it baffled me that people would have such a problem with them. Do you think Ireland is more conservative than the UK with regard to this? Does it come down to having a problem with people looking "different"?

I’m not sure what it is to be honest. I’d like to say it’s a generational thing but more often or not it’s little old ladies that compliment my tattoos, and they tell me about how they wish they had been braver when they were younger. For some people, tattoos will always be disgusting, and for those people there will be no way of convincing them otherwise. At the same time, why would you want to. If someone doesn’t like tattoos, that’s their business.  

I wouldn’t think Ireland is more conservative than the UK or any other European country - what doesn’t help though are the number of “shocking” tattoo TV programmes, where someone with a god-awful tattoo they got on a holiday, most likely while drunk, comes on and discusses how much they hate it. Or someone hailed as a role model comes on screen saying that we should appreciate our bodies and never do such awful things to our skin. People are always going to have opinions and if you are very concerned about the opinions of others, then maybe getting a tattoo isn’t for you. I love my tattoos - each one is a piece of art I get to wear on my body for the rest of my life. A lot of time, effort, pain, skill and money went into each one, and all of those factors far outweigh the passing comments of strangers or keyboard warriors. While they’re bitching about my ink, they are giving some other misfortunate person a break from their torment.  

What's the main advice you'd give to people suffering from low self esteem but wanting to make their mark on the world?

Stop it as soon as possible! I have very few regrets in this world but I do regret that I hated myself for so long. Punishing a body I loathed with self harming, fad diets, bingeing, purging and all of the emotional torment that goes with it. I wish I had been braver.  I wish I had more faith in myself and more love for myself to say “It’s okay and you’re okay”. I placed very little value on myself and allowed people to treat me as "less than", because I never saw myself as having value. Whoever you are and wherever you are, you are a f**king amazing human being. You are here and you are alive - you have more potential than you ever believe you could have! 

I am the product of a  home full of domestic violence, alcoholism and poverty – but I am here and I am doing this because I just decided! I’m not special. I don’t have anything any different than you - I just took a chance on myself and it paid off. So pretty please, the world needs more positive people; it needs more voices telling their stories. More people need to know it’s okay to be yourself. People need to know it’s not all sunshine and roses, and that some days are shit - but that shit gets better. How are people ever going to know that if you don’t share your story? When I doubt myself and what I’m doing, I read back over the wonderful comments I’ve gotten from people, throw on Emile Sande and carry on kicking ass. Read all about it is one of my favourite motivational songs: You've got the words to change a nation. But you're biting your tongue. You've spent a life time stuck in silence. Afraid you'll say something wrong. If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?

What are your thoughts on the" alternative" scene in Ireland and how do you think the Alternative Fashion Fest will be received?

I’ll be honest - I’m a bit behind on all Irish scenes - particularly the alt scene. I look at the UK and sigh at the amount of plus size and alternative events that they have, and I feel like Ireland is a little behind. I do think things are getting better, and through blogging I have found quite a few alt people in Limerick, and we have bonded over a love of all things weird and wonderful. I hope Alternative Fashion Fest sparks a movement in Ireland, I really do. I would love to see a culture where people are just cool with how others want to be, and everyone’s difference is celebrated. I want to see more people loving themselves and their bodies. I want to open an article and see a fat tattooed babe rocking an awesome outfit - because that is an image I never saw as an awkward teenager, and I wish I had, because it would have helped me love myself more. 

I think we need more accurate representation of people of all shapes, sizes, colours, abilities, tattooed, untattooed, hairy, bald, f*ck it, just as many “other” people as you can think of. We’ve all seen the perfect specimens - we know what they look like. Now is the time for diversity in society and to show people it’s okay to look like you - whatever version of you that you want to be. I’m so excited for Alternative Fashion Fest, I really am. 

What are your hopes for the future?

You know what, I have been so surprised by the outpouring of love and support I’ve had since I’ve started blogging. Rebelle-ution is only a year old and I’ve been so fortunate with the positivity I have received. I would love that to continue! The ultimate goal would be to make this my full time job - imagine being paid to tell people they are f*cking awesome all day long! Oh, and to have my own book published - that’s when I’ll know I’ve made it! When someone decides they love what I do so much that they are willing to let me have my own book. 

Those are pipe dreams though - for now I’m elated to have my own little corner of the internet so share my feminist rantings, ravings, glittery unicorn moments, anxiety meltdowns and dating disasters with people. It keeps me sane-ish. So for as long as the world needs it, I will be right here - a little body positive super hero - fighting body bashing and telling people that they are amazing, and telling Basics to go and f*ck off!

Apologies, Trek4life and Other Musings

Apologies for the rather haphazard posting on social media lately, and lack of interaction etc, but a family crisis recently has left me absolutely exhausted mentally and physically, and only able to do a fraction of the work and interactions I'd normally carry out.

Basically my father was rushed to hospital with a nasty bout of pneumonia two weeks ago, and as he is the main carer of my mother, who has dementia, I had to rush over there and care for her (I'm an only child) for nearly two weeks, meaning my children had to stay with their dad, and I had to take time off from my "day" job, and partially from my Alternative Fashion Fest work. I've been doing what I can, when I can, and work has been a good distraction actually, but just wanted to let you know that there is a good reason for my engagement being quite sporadic.

Yesterday was my first day back at work (St Vincent De Paul, who have been lovely and very supportive), and seeing the kids again. My mother was supposed to have gone into respite last Friday so my father could rest, but she point blank refuses to go (Friday was a particularly horrific day to be honest), her brain no longer being wired to comprehend the need, and I could not stay any longer due to my home and work responsibilities, so the health care team and my father are having to look at other options for support. He does, however, have friends who are being very helpful, so for that we're grateful. His health though, continues to be a worry, and decisions will have to be made regarding the future.

Sunday's #Trek4Life, was something I booked for in the middle of all this, determined that it would be a worthwhile event to go to, given that it was for charity (The Irish Cancer Society), promised to be inspiring, and also many people I follow on Twitter would be there. When there I didn't really have the energy to "network" or take pictures, but I was certainly delighted I went.

It certainly delivered on that promise, and Kelly Donegan and Jessica Banaghan did a fantastic job of organising it. Harry's On The Green were the perfect hosts, and I was raving to anyone who would listen, about their chips - honestly the best I've ever tasted (and I've been on this earth 41 years!).

All of the speakers were fabulous (I must mention Ciamh McGrory of Insight PR who helped me retrieve this blog post after a technical hitch!) and there were many laugh out loud moments, not least from Andrea Smith. Andrea, being in the same decade of life as me, and having the same "I've been at the bottom so the only way is up" attitude, was probably the speaker I identified with the most, and took the most from. I looked at her fabulously coloured hair, and admired her attitude and joie de vivre, and thought she would be fabulous in our Alternative Fashion Fest. The lovely ladies at my table (very friendly) said I should approach her and ask her, but I felt it rather gauche, meeting someone only for the first time, and asking them something like that, when they don't know me from Adam.

I had spotted a beautiful young lady there and thought "she must be a model or something - she's unfeasibly beautiful". Well, yes, it turned out she was - Laura O'Grady - so, understatement of the year from me there!

That gives you an example of how out of touch I am - I'd never seen any of the people there on TV, and until starting to do work for the Alternative Fashion Fest, I had no idea of who many of them were, or how well-known they were in Dublin or elsewhere in this country, because apart from comedy shows and the odd US drama, and of course CBBC, thanks to my children, I don't watch much TV except when in my parents, and that keeps me out of the loop a lot. Regarding fashion, I'll read the odd article, but ultimately will wear or buy something according to whether I like it or not, rather than whether it's "on trend".

If I were working on a mainstream fashion show, I'd say I was probably the last person who should be doing it. But given that it's alternative, and my contribution to being "alternative" is that I'm older (41), short (5' 2"), sort of curvy at size 12-14, you're more likely to find me reading Thomas Sheridan's latest post than Vogue, and I'm living life on my own terms as much as I can. I've shown I'm not afraid to be me, and feck what the begrudgers say. I hope the alt people will embrace me as even partly one of their own.

Having said all that though, I'm really enjoying reading other people's blogs in the mainstream too, and seeing what everyone is up to. I still like to try to look pretty, so of course I'm interested in certain make-up products etc, and pretty clothes. I've kind of missed that actually, over the past few years, so it's been really nice to dip in.

Anyway, please bear with me - I will catch up as and when I can, on everything, and be back to full productivity when I can. Keep your eye out for a series of interviews with Irish alternative models on this blog, for a start. Keep well everyone, and thanks to all who've supported us at Alternative Fashion Fest, and what we're trying to do.