It's All Grand #NoLikesNeeded #Dove

Today I've seen blogs which tie in with the Dove #NoLikesNeeded campaign and thought I'd add my thruppance worth. The premise of the campaign is that we don't need "likes" from others, and our own "like" for ourselves is the only one that counts. I largely agree with this sentiment. Ciara O'Doherty and Leanne Woodfull have done better posts on this, but I think it ties in nicely with the ethos behind Alternative Fashion Fest too, regarding self acceptance etc., so here goes.... 

I feel massively sorry for younger people today, or even people of my age who haven't gotten to that "well I think I'm alright and so do my nearest and dearest, so feck the rest of them" stage. Some people never get to it. But I think it's harder for younger people because they're used to an age where social media and how popular you are on it, is regarded as everything. It can seriously mess with your head if you take it all too seriously and feel you have to document every moment of your life and get loads of likes on it, or else. 

Regarding my own "selfies" - for some reason, people like them on FB, but on Instagram, they're about as popular as a fart in a lift. And that's grand. I normally stick to posting pics of other people anyway on Instagram - the beautiful models in Ireland who I pale in comparison to anyway. It's just funny to observe what gets liked on which site, and what doesn't. But I don't think "urgh, what an ugly piece of crap I am" if a selfie gets no likes. I just think "well love you're 41 and no-one has ever heard of you. They want to see proper experienced models"  (being signed to an agency, which I am - Frasers -  doesn't count when you haven't actually had any work from them!). So I'm okay with that, I'm grand, and delighted to promote others who deserve to be shown to the world, because they are absolutely beautiful. 

There was a profile pic competition on an Irish Pin Ups page recently and just for the craic I submitted a pic. Told no-one but my boyfriend. I wanted to see if it got any likes without lobbying for any. It got 13 (most got hundreds) and again, that was grand. At 41 I was doing well to get any. Again, all grand and just a bit of fun. 

So ladies and gents, if you can have a relaxed attitude towards feedback on posts and pics on social media and even in other areas of life, you'll be fine. If one post, or a few posts aren't popular, what of it? You're alive and you have blessings in your life - loved ones, and whatever other things are going on for you. Some of your posts will be popular and some won't. Some people will respond to you and some won't. Maybe the ones who didn't were just busy. Don't start thinking "aaargh, no-one likes me, I'm worthless". No you're not, you're just not the centre of everyone's universe, just like they are not the centre of yours (if they are, there is something wrong and you need to work on your self esteem). 

Relax and enjoy your life. Everybody has a worthwhile life to lead. All of us. Enjoy "real" life and don't elevate social media above its rightful place. Yes, it's part of all our lives, but don't ever judge your worth by it. Again, YOUR "like" is what matters, regarding yourself xx

Introducing: Sarah Bowles (for Alternative Fashion Fest - Ireland)

I interviewed the gorgeous Sarah Bowles, who is making her mark as a curvy model, as part of my series for Alternative Fashion Fest.....

Photography - Javier Leite. Swimsuit - Change Lingerie.

Photography - Carrigphotos. Styling & Trousers - Wear we Wander. Hair & Make-up - Angie McB. Jacket - Mercury Goes Retrograde. Accessories - Isobella Ru.

Photography - Carrigphotos. Dress and beaded cape - Devilish Designs by Gina. Styling - Wear we Wander. Hair & Makeup - Angie McB.

Please describe yourself and what you do, for people who don't know - what do you most want others to know about you?

I'm a plus size/curvy model based in Cork. I love all aspects of modelling, be it catwalk or photographic, and I want to promote size diversity in fashion. I also work full-time in a fabric shop and I'm a hat/headpiece designer in my spare time. I've recently started a blog called Curvy in Cork City but I'm still finding my feet in the blogging world so I hope people can be patient with me as I get the hang of it! (All advice welcome haha!) I love dancing, music, movies and animals. My British bulldog Lola never ceases to make me laugh, and my family and friends are very important to me.

Many congrats on winning the Irish Pin Ups

Profile Pic competition for October 2015 - how does it feel?

I'm absolutely delighted, and so thankful to everyone that liked my picture and made it possible for me to win the competition. The women involved were all beautiful - I was in very good company. I'm truly honoured to be the face of their page for the month of October as I love what they're promoting. I adore the pin-up style and hope to do more of that particular style of work in the future :)

It's all been happening for you recently - you've also recently signed up with Upfront Model Management! How did this come about, and describe your modelling journey and how it started for you.

As I'm 5'5" I knew I wouldn't be likely to be taken on by an agency in the early days, so I decided to get as much experience as possible and try to build up a portfolio of work. The first fashion show I took part in, I volunteered for. It was for a very special charity in Cork called The Girls Club. They're a cancer support centre run by an amazing team of women whom I admire very much. They were putting on a Curvy Girls Fashion Show bringing plus size boutiques from all over Ireland to show their clothes at the event.

After my first walk down the runway, I was hooked. It was such an adrenalin rush! At the end of the show I knew this was something I had to do more of. So I got involved in more charity fashion shows to gain more experience, and as I did, I realised this was something I needed to do with my life. I had found a passion for modelling. I was very lucky to be signed to V Plus Models in 2014 and had the most amazing year with Vicki  and the girls involved in the agency. It was an amazing time, during which I appeared on Ireland AM and The Saturday Night Show. I met and got to work with some amazingly talented and beautiful individuals. I'm now with Upfront Model Management and looking forward to working with them very much. Keep an eye on my Facebook modelling page for more updates!! :)

Like me, you love the fashions of the 1950s, and you also love charity shops, just like me! Tell us about some of your best finds.

I just adore the fashion of the 50s because to me it was the ultimate celebration of a woman's shape. It was all about accentuating the natural curves we all have. I have a wardrobe full of fit and flare style dresses, as well as some beautiful fitted pencil dresses reminiscent of the era.

One of my favourite shops has to be Devilish Designs by Gina in Cork. She stocks retro inspired clothing from amazing brands like Lindy Bop and Pin-up Couture. My best investment piece ever was the black "Monica" dress from Pin-up Couture that I got in Gina's. It has built-in support and the ruching is really flattering. You just can't go wrong with a good black dress and this has to be my all time favourite.

Charity shops are full of hidden gems just waiting to be discovered. One of my best finds to date has to be a beautiful vintage black handbag I picked up for just €5 which will never go out of fashion. My mum is also great at finding me bits in charity shops. She got me a fab black and white striped pleated skirt (also vintage) for €5, which I adore, and I recently picked up an amazing pink 80s style peplum jacket (which I cannot wait to wear!!) for just €10. I love to dig through rails of clothes and find unique pieces that I can work into my wardrobe.

There seem to be more opportunities for curvy models in recent years. Do you think things will continue to get better for curvy models?

Yes I definitely think the world of fashion is very slowly but surely including more curvy models. (Did you see the pictures of Ashley Graham at NY Fashion Week recently?! Amazing!!) I think the industry is beginning to accept that we all want to see diversity on the catwalks. We want to see people we can relate to, modelling the clothes we'd like to wear, and seeing what they look like realistically. Modelling shouldn't just be open to women or men of a certain height, size, or shape. It doesn't show clothes to their full potential, in my opinion, so it makes sense to diversify.

You've described in your blog, how, 10 years ago, you were working in a retail outlet for a well-known plus-size fashion chain, and the images of the beautiful models in their advertising campaigns inspired you. Tell us a little more about that, and how it started you on your path to where you are today.

The images depicted beautiful women who looked happy and confident, despite being bigger than your "normal" woman. They were models like Candice Huffine and Crystal Renn, two of the worlds most famous plus size models at the time. It made me wonder why more retailers weren't using more models like them. They were women that you could relate to, that represented a more realistic body type and size. I've never been slim, and to be honest I don't think it would ever suit me to be, so to see women not far from the size I was, looking so beautiful and confident and happy - that's what I wanted to be. It took me a while after that though, to properly pursue modelling, but I'll always remember those pictures and how they made me feel a little less inadequate at the time.

What do you advise people who, for whatever reason, feel they are "not good enough" because their body shape is not what has traditionally been celebrated in the mainstream? How would you try to inspire them to reach for the stars?

We're all different shapes and sizes naturally, so we need to try our best to accept that. Our body shape, size or weight does not define us in any way. Yes, the models in the magazines are beautiful, but there are many forms of beauty, and as they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Try to appreciate the bits of yourself you like, and learn to love them if you can. Hold your head up high and be confident. We all have bad days where we're not so happy with how we look in the mirror, but we need to appreciate our bodies for what they do for us, and see we're not just our reflection. There is beauty far beyond physical appearance!

Do you think most women or men have to wait until we become little older to finally accept ourselves as we are, or do you think younger people are finally catching onto the body positive message?

I definitely think being a little older helps, because you come to realise that having the "perfect" body or look won't get you where you want to be in life. Teens are becoming more confident, but they are also the worst critics of themselves and others. We need to be teaching them about being happy in themselves by promoting healthy body image, and raising their self esteem. It's so difficult being a teenager - there's so much pressurei on them in all aspects of their lives. Wisdom is definitely something that comes with age, so we need to impart some of our wisdom on them to hopefully change their mindset when it comes to body image.

You did a photo shoot for the Naked issue of Stellar Magazine, and were interviewed about it for Full Frontal on RTE. What was that experience like?

It was nerve racking and daunting, to say the least, but it was also an amazing and very liberating experience. The crew on the day couldn't have been nicer, and the photographer and her assistant (both women) were so lovely - they put me at ease straight away. I decided to do it in a bid to make women see that you don't have to be any particular size to feel confident in your own skin. I was really happy with the final image too, and if I made even one woman feel better in her skin, then I achieved what I set out to do!

What do you think the Alternative Fashion Fest will bring to the Irish people, and what would you like to see it achieve?

I hope the Alternative Fashion Fest will highlight that diversity in fashion is most definitely on the rise in Ireland. It's fantastic that it will be giving a platform to designers, retailers and models of all types from around Ireland, and bringing all these like minded people together. I'm sure it will be a fantastic event and I'm really looking forward to it!!!

Finally, and I shall be asking everyone featured in this series this question, what are your hopes for the future?

I'd like to continue modelling and blogging, and eventually have my own millinery business. I want to continue to represent curvy ladies on the catwalks and hopefully inspire others to be happy and confident in their own skin. It's an uphill battle but it's getting less steep!! :)

Alternative Fashion Fest (Ireland) - Introducing: Rebelle Haze

As part of the build up to the Alternative Fashion Fest to be held in Dublin on 22 July 2016, I shall be interviewing various people from the alt scene in this country. 

Boy oh boy, what better way to start off the series, than introducing you all to the force of nature that is the inimitable Rebelle Hayes!

Courtesy of Boudoir Girls - make up artist: Colette

Please describe yourself and what you do, for people who don't know - what do you most want others to know about you?

My name is Rebelle and I’m a 28 year old fierce, fat, feminist with a love of all things glitter. I have multiple tattoos and piercings but not nearly as many as I’d like. My body canvas is a work in progress. I’m a mental health advocate, body positive activist, blogger, writer, plus model, cruelty free beauty enthusiast and generally busy, shiny happy glitter fairy. 

It's been two years since your first blog - would you have believed you'd be where you are now, at the time you started out?

Absolutely not! My God, when I started I did it quietly and didn’t even let people know I was writing because I was so afraid of criticism and thought I couldn’t possibly compete with the wealth of talented bloggers out there. Thankfully I got a bit braver and just went for it and people responded really positively to that bravery. For whatever reason, people seem to be really positive towards me, my blog and my messages of self love. Of course I still get bitchiness and negativity, but that’s to be expected for anyone who puts themselves out there. But frankly I’m not in it for the negativity. If you can’t be nice, frankly you can f*ck off! 

You're very highly qualified in sexual health and have worked with various groups encouraging young people to be more relaxed about sexuality, etc. What was the driving force behind this?

Would you believe, it started very young. I was quite fortunate to be brought up in a home that was very open in terms of discussing bodies, bodily functions, sex and sexuality. Obviously it was all age appropriate, but no subject was taboo. Naturally this meant that I was very open and comfortable talking all things sex and body related, but soon discovered that not everyone felt the same as I did. I was once removed from a Sex Ed class in my school for querying why we weren’t going to cover contraceptives and STD’s. Half my class were already shagging, or at least claimed they were, so I thought this was the important sh*t they needed to know. Unfortunately my religion teacher did not feel the same, and so I was escorted out the door. 

As I got older I realised that, as a population, we have quite poor sexual health education, and bodily education in general, and that it was a subject people tried to avoid like the plague.  Because I didn’t, it just clicked as something I should do. It fitted me perfectly like my own little niche and I love it. It’s so much fun, teaching people things and making them squirm. It’s also a very vulnerable and raw thing to do, to talk about sex and sensuality.  It’s such an intimate thing to do, so people really have to trust you before they’ll open up properly. 

You were picked on quite badly in school, which must have been traumatic at the time. How did you come to terms with that and develop into the positive, inspiring person you are today?

Yeah, the bullying aspect is never fun. I imagine quite a number of “creatives” are picked on in school because generally we don’t fit in. We’re the fat kids, nerdy kids, queer kids and most likely don’t fit into the “cool” category - and I fit all those criteria.  Plus, I had horrible acne and awful glasses. In fairness it took me quite a few years to “find myself”, if that’s the right term. It sounds a bit wanky but it did take a number of years before I genuinely became comfortable in my own skin. We are really talking the last two or three years, and I’ll be honest, it’s mainly down to seeing other plus bloggers and models out there doing their thing unapologetically and saying "F*ck everyone and their opinions, just be you".  When you surround yourself with that kind of message and eliminate the negative body bashing bullsh*t, it becomes so much easier to be you unapologetically. 

Someone, or some people (I assume "basic bitches", to use a favourite term of yours!) told you that you weren't very good at writing, which obviously is rubbish because you're fantastic. What helped you ignore the negative voices and keep on doing what you're so gifted at?

*Laughs* Would you believe it was an English teacher who told me I was sh*t at writing. Obviously she didn’t use the word "sh*t", that would have been way harsh on a teenager, but nonetheless her words were less than encouraging. Because it was something I had wanted to do since I was tiny, I just decided to do it. I mean when I was a kid I would write out these stories that nobody ever read, and as a teenager I would write out my own sad "lil" erotica stories. Again, nobody ever read them, but it was a fun hobby to have. Even when I started writing, I decided to do it anonymously so that nobody would ever know it was me. However when I got more comfortable with myself I decided to just be brave and put myself out there. Thank f*ck I did - it’s one of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made. 

We're both admirers of Doodle Kennelly. Now there's someone who doesn't fit into a mould! I love her rawness. How did you first hear of her (I heard of her before I heard of her dad!) and what can people learn from her?

Would you believe I heard of her before her dad too! I remember seeing her in the Sunday Independent magazine, with her long black hair and gorgeous tattoos, talking about the surgery on her arms, and I instantly became obsessed. There was this amazing lady, who was so brave and open about all her “bad stuff”, and I wanted so badly to be as brave as her. Unfortunately my anxiety, lack of self confidence, and fear of what people thought held me back.

However, I got to know Doodle more through social media and we have had a number of conversations. She is so supportive of me and my writing. I consider her my own personal writing mentor, and when I question whether or not I should put something out there I genuinely think to myself "What would Doodle do?".  Which means I end up being brave, vulnerable and honest in some of my posts because that is most certainly what she would do. 

Tell us about the impact Tess Holliday had on you. From feeling that you had to cover up your body, to realising you were beautiful, that you were damn sexy, and becoming a model?

The fist time I encountered Tess Holliday was on Facebook. My initial reaction was not a good one. I was so full of self loathing and negativity that I could not see the beauty in her. I couldn’t believe how she was just able to show off her body the way she did - and this was in her early days just going sleeveless! But the more I looked at her and watched her, the more I fell in love. I realised that my negative reaction was not my own, but the voices of all the people who had told me awful things, and the body bashing I had seen in mainstream media. 

She was the personification of what I wanted to look like but was never brave enough to be. I mean imagine getting your wobbly upper arms out in public for people to see - sure you couldn’t be doing that sort of thing!  It was a gradual process, but thanks to her I started to care less about what people thought of my fat body, and started to wear clothes I wanted to wear.  I wore things I wanted to instead of hiding away, completely afraid that people would know I was fat - as if being a fat person was the worst thing I could be. When I discovered Tees, I had started to accept my face more, but my body was another story. 

I can pinpoint the day I fell in love with my body - it was the day I did a photo shoot with Natalie from Boudoir Girls in Galway.  She was the one who encouraged me to pose naked. The night before the shoot I wanted to be sick - the thoughts of getting naked in front of another person and showing off my wobbly bits and back fat made me want to curl up in a ball. Natalie was so lovely and easy going - before I knew it I was naked and laying on a duvet having a chat and giggle and being photographed. I felt amazing!! When I got the pictures back I loved them so much I decided that it would be a complete shame not to do more modelling work. 

I was surprised to hear the amount of rude questions and comments you've described receiving, regarding your tattoos. I don't have any myself but I like them on other people and it baffled me that people would have such a problem with them. Do you think Ireland is more conservative than the UK with regard to this? Does it come down to having a problem with people looking "different"?

I’m not sure what it is to be honest. I’d like to say it’s a generational thing but more often or not it’s little old ladies that compliment my tattoos, and they tell me about how they wish they had been braver when they were younger. For some people, tattoos will always be disgusting, and for those people there will be no way of convincing them otherwise. At the same time, why would you want to. If someone doesn’t like tattoos, that’s their business.  

I wouldn’t think Ireland is more conservative than the UK or any other European country - what doesn’t help though are the number of “shocking” tattoo TV programmes, where someone with a god-awful tattoo they got on a holiday, most likely while drunk, comes on and discusses how much they hate it. Or someone hailed as a role model comes on screen saying that we should appreciate our bodies and never do such awful things to our skin. People are always going to have opinions and if you are very concerned about the opinions of others, then maybe getting a tattoo isn’t for you. I love my tattoos - each one is a piece of art I get to wear on my body for the rest of my life. A lot of time, effort, pain, skill and money went into each one, and all of those factors far outweigh the passing comments of strangers or keyboard warriors. While they’re bitching about my ink, they are giving some other misfortunate person a break from their torment.  

What's the main advice you'd give to people suffering from low self esteem but wanting to make their mark on the world?

Stop it as soon as possible! I have very few regrets in this world but I do regret that I hated myself for so long. Punishing a body I loathed with self harming, fad diets, bingeing, purging and all of the emotional torment that goes with it. I wish I had been braver.  I wish I had more faith in myself and more love for myself to say “It’s okay and you’re okay”. I placed very little value on myself and allowed people to treat me as "less than", because I never saw myself as having value. Whoever you are and wherever you are, you are a f**king amazing human being. You are here and you are alive - you have more potential than you ever believe you could have! 

I am the product of a  home full of domestic violence, alcoholism and poverty – but I am here and I am doing this because I just decided! I’m not special. I don’t have anything any different than you - I just took a chance on myself and it paid off. So pretty please, the world needs more positive people; it needs more voices telling their stories. More people need to know it’s okay to be yourself. People need to know it’s not all sunshine and roses, and that some days are shit - but that shit gets better. How are people ever going to know that if you don’t share your story? When I doubt myself and what I’m doing, I read back over the wonderful comments I’ve gotten from people, throw on Emile Sande and carry on kicking ass. Read all about it is one of my favourite motivational songs: You've got the words to change a nation. But you're biting your tongue. You've spent a life time stuck in silence. Afraid you'll say something wrong. If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?

What are your thoughts on the" alternative" scene in Ireland and how do you think the Alternative Fashion Fest will be received?

I’ll be honest - I’m a bit behind on all Irish scenes - particularly the alt scene. I look at the UK and sigh at the amount of plus size and alternative events that they have, and I feel like Ireland is a little behind. I do think things are getting better, and through blogging I have found quite a few alt people in Limerick, and we have bonded over a love of all things weird and wonderful. I hope Alternative Fashion Fest sparks a movement in Ireland, I really do. I would love to see a culture where people are just cool with how others want to be, and everyone’s difference is celebrated. I want to see more people loving themselves and their bodies. I want to open an article and see a fat tattooed babe rocking an awesome outfit - because that is an image I never saw as an awkward teenager, and I wish I had, because it would have helped me love myself more. 

I think we need more accurate representation of people of all shapes, sizes, colours, abilities, tattooed, untattooed, hairy, bald, f*ck it, just as many “other” people as you can think of. We’ve all seen the perfect specimens - we know what they look like. Now is the time for diversity in society and to show people it’s okay to look like you - whatever version of you that you want to be. I’m so excited for Alternative Fashion Fest, I really am. 

What are your hopes for the future?

You know what, I have been so surprised by the outpouring of love and support I’ve had since I’ve started blogging. Rebelle-ution is only a year old and I’ve been so fortunate with the positivity I have received. I would love that to continue! The ultimate goal would be to make this my full time job - imagine being paid to tell people they are f*cking awesome all day long! Oh, and to have my own book published - that’s when I’ll know I’ve made it! When someone decides they love what I do so much that they are willing to let me have my own book. 

Those are pipe dreams though - for now I’m elated to have my own little corner of the internet so share my feminist rantings, ravings, glittery unicorn moments, anxiety meltdowns and dating disasters with people. It keeps me sane-ish. So for as long as the world needs it, I will be right here - a little body positive super hero - fighting body bashing and telling people that they are amazing, and telling Basics to go and f*ck off!

Apologies, Trek4life and Other Musings

Apologies for the rather haphazard posting on social media lately, and lack of interaction etc, but a family crisis recently has left me absolutely exhausted mentally and physically, and only able to do a fraction of the work and interactions I'd normally carry out.

Basically my father was rushed to hospital with a nasty bout of pneumonia two weeks ago, and as he is the main carer of my mother, who has dementia, I had to rush over there and care for her (I'm an only child) for nearly two weeks, meaning my children had to stay with their dad, and I had to take time off from my "day" job, and partially from my Alternative Fashion Fest work. I've been doing what I can, when I can, and work has been a good distraction actually, but just wanted to let you know that there is a good reason for my engagement being quite sporadic.

Yesterday was my first day back at work (St Vincent De Paul, who have been lovely and very supportive), and seeing the kids again. My mother was supposed to have gone into respite last Friday so my father could rest, but she point blank refuses to go (Friday was a particularly horrific day to be honest), her brain no longer being wired to comprehend the need, and I could not stay any longer due to my home and work responsibilities, so the health care team and my father are having to look at other options for support. He does, however, have friends who are being very helpful, so for that we're grateful. His health though, continues to be a worry, and decisions will have to be made regarding the future.

Sunday's #Trek4Life, was something I booked for in the middle of all this, determined that it would be a worthwhile event to go to, given that it was for charity (The Irish Cancer Society), promised to be inspiring, and also many people I follow on Twitter would be there. When there I didn't really have the energy to "network" or take pictures, but I was certainly delighted I went.

It certainly delivered on that promise, and Kelly Donegan and Jessica Banaghan did a fantastic job of organising it. Harry's On The Green were the perfect hosts, and I was raving to anyone who would listen, about their chips - honestly the best I've ever tasted (and I've been on this earth 41 years!).

All of the speakers were fabulous (I must mention Ciamh McGrory of Insight PR who helped me retrieve this blog post after a technical hitch!) and there were many laugh out loud moments, not least from Andrea Smith. Andrea, being in the same decade of life as me, and having the same "I've been at the bottom so the only way is up" attitude, was probably the speaker I identified with the most, and took the most from. I looked at her fabulously coloured hair, and admired her attitude and joie de vivre, and thought she would be fabulous in our Alternative Fashion Fest. The lovely ladies at my table (very friendly) said I should approach her and ask her, but I felt it rather gauche, meeting someone only for the first time, and asking them something like that, when they don't know me from Adam.

I had spotted a beautiful young lady there and thought "she must be a model or something - she's unfeasibly beautiful". Well, yes, it turned out she was - Laura O'Grady - so, understatement of the year from me there!

That gives you an example of how out of touch I am - I'd never seen any of the people there on TV, and until starting to do work for the Alternative Fashion Fest, I had no idea of who many of them were, or how well-known they were in Dublin or elsewhere in this country, because apart from comedy shows and the odd US drama, and of course CBBC, thanks to my children, I don't watch much TV except when in my parents, and that keeps me out of the loop a lot. Regarding fashion, I'll read the odd article, but ultimately will wear or buy something according to whether I like it or not, rather than whether it's "on trend".

If I were working on a mainstream fashion show, I'd say I was probably the last person who should be doing it. But given that it's alternative, and my contribution to being "alternative" is that I'm older (41), short (5' 2"), sort of curvy at size 12-14, you're more likely to find me reading Thomas Sheridan's latest post than Vogue, and I'm living life on my own terms as much as I can. I've shown I'm not afraid to be me, and feck what the begrudgers say. I hope the alt people will embrace me as even partly one of their own.

Having said all that though, I'm really enjoying reading other people's blogs in the mainstream too, and seeing what everyone is up to. I still like to try to look pretty, so of course I'm interested in certain make-up products etc, and pretty clothes. I've kind of missed that actually, over the past few years, so it's been really nice to dip in.

Anyway, please bear with me - I will catch up as and when I can, on everything, and be back to full productivity when I can. Keep your eye out for a series of interviews with Irish alternative models on this blog, for a start. Keep well everyone, and thanks to all who've supported us at Alternative Fashion Fest, and what we're trying to do.

"Selling" a Brand or Event - My Baptism of Fire

There are many experts on marketing - some really do know what they are talking about, like Jonathan and Susanna from The Social Ms, Samantha Kelly (Tweeting Goddess), or Ted Rubin (whose philosophy I had before being introduced to him, but I didn't have a term for it). Some, however, as evidenced from, say, their Twitter profiles, could do with a few lessons themselves, in my layperson's opinion.

I wouldn't dream of calling myself any kind of expert on anything - all I can do is tell you what my own thoughts are, and what I've experienced, regarding trying to get something off the ground, or even just from my own experiences on personal social media accounts. Some of you may agree with me and some may not.

For a start, I have NO formal marketing qualifications, that's right, zilch. I did my Leaving Cert and then a year of secretarial college (I don't think those kinds of courses even exist now - at 41, I'm that old!). Anything I've learned is from work experience and having an interest in the way stories are presented, in psychology, and in what really goes on behind the scenes. I did work in a marketing company, and got to sit in on a few brainstorming meetings, but basically I was an administrator / secretary. I was offered the chance to change to the marketing team but turned it down, feeling at the time that I wasn't outgoing enough. Sometimes I wonder about what might have been, but everything happens for a reason and it just wasn't right for me.

Besides, I can only promote something if I'm enthusiastic about it myself. Working in a company where I had to promote products or brands I had little or no interest in, or didn't feel any passion about, wouldn't result in me doing a good job of marketing them. I'm just that kind of person.

Nobody likes a pushy sales person, right? Maybe I've just been unlucky, but like many, I've had some quite unpleasant experiences with sales people who just didn't know when to give up when I'd made it clear I wasn't interested in the product. Or sometimes they'd put me off even exploring the product, with their overbearing manner. Similarly, none of us like it when the name of that "friend" who only contacts us when they want something, appears on our caller ID or inbox.

Well, I never wanted to be either of those people, and I still don't. Yes, I have an event to publicise, and try to obtain help for and involvement with. Yes, I've politely emailed companies and asked them. I've tweeted a few companies too. But above all, I believe engagement is key, and giving more than taking, when it comes to social media. Be willing to plug other people. Thank them if and when they do the same for you. Do you know what, I've rarely had to ask anyone for an RT (that's another thing I don't really like doing, not tagging people directly anyway). But I've gotten lots of RTs on the local Alternative Fashion Fest account. Because I've engaged with other people, taken an interest in what they were tweeting about, complimented them (I don't compliment unless I mean it), or thanked them for info or acknowledgement.

The local Alternative Fashion Fest account is slowly building up followers. As to who to follow, and how does one engage, well, being 41, and admittedly, a bit clueless as to who the big shots in the fashion world are, and in particular the alternative fashion world, I did a lot of googling! I looked up who the editors of magazines were, etc. As well as that, I looked up local articles on who were the most influential people on Twitter, the "ones to watch". It was like a spider's web - one bit of it led to another, and went off on different tangents, and I'm still learning.

For instance, the bloggers - I wasn't aware there were so many in Ireland and that they were so important in the industry. Yes, I was that out of touch!

But anyway - engage, engage, engage, and give, give, give. If I said nothing else in this blog, that would be the main message I'd want to get across. Most people are very nice, despite what the doom and gloom merchants say, and they will respond positively. I've been surprised at how delighted some people were when I've shared an article and/or complimented them on it.

Similarly, the beautiful models I've given a plug to on Twitter and/or Instagram - they really do appreciate it. Only one or two failed to acknowledge it, and to be honest, as would be the case with most people, that hasn't gone unnoticed, and it's probably unlikely they'd keep getting plugged by our account. A simple "thank you" is remembered on social media.

Building awareness of a brand, product or event takes time. The temptation is often to go in, hell for leather, and do the hard sell. But speaking as someone who, like most people, has been on the receiving end of such aggressive techniques, that's really not the way to go about things, well, in my opinion. I'm a "gently does it" type of person and I genuinely like chatting with people even if they never did a thing for me and what I'm trying to promote. At least though, they might remember me as a pleasant person on social media and not someone who was badgering them. I'm representing both the Alternative Fashion Fest and myself, and I don't want to let either down. Manners are extremely important.

Perhaps I've just been lucky, but I've found that over the years, the responses I've gotten, even from quite famous people (in the UK, not just Ireland) have been very positive, and I've had lots of follows and interaction on previous personal accounts. I'm not afraid to ask for something if I have to, but I'll do it very politely, and I'll show a genuine interest and concern for the person. People respond to that. Show warmth, always.

Have a goal, yes. For our event, for example, yes we do need a venue, and all that goes along with a charity fashion show including people spreading the word. And we'll get those. But above all, be human, and let people get to know your social media account, as one that is run by nice people. That does more for your brand than you realise.

Alternative Fashion Fest and Me

(photo by James Maloney) 

So, my professional plans have changed again! There I was about to do a big push on my freelancing, and somehow I've stumbled into volunteering as the Show Coordinator for the Dublin show of the Alternative Fashion Fest Tour next year!

I've decided to put the freelancing on hold (though commercial modelling would still be ok) as I cannot squeeze in my existing part time job, family, freelancing, and trying to organise a fashion show (not unless I want to make a balls up of all of them). Will see what the next few months bring. I have a vision (well, a vague idea of the direction I want to go in)

A friend of mine (the inspirational Angelica Fenney) had modelled at the UK Alternative Fashion Fest, and I'd commented on their page that it was a fabulous idea and if I'd lived in the UK I'd love to have been involved in some way. They informed me that the show was coming to Dublin and asked if I'd like to be their Dublin person. The rest is history. May even be modelling at it myself - we'll see.

It was easy to get excited about the Alternative Fashion Fest because it's all about diversity and acceptance, and the right to be what we want to be, and be beautiful in our own way, without having to conform to what mainstream fashion would previously have dictated we should be. Thanks to the work of amazing people like Angel Sinclair of Models of Diversity in the UK and beyond, barriers are being broken down. Even Ireland now has modelling agencies such as V Plus, Vanity Vague, and Irish Ink Models.

The people and organisations I'm finding out there as I search the web, and engage on social media, give me great hope for this little island of ours. So many cool people and scenes. Beautiful alternative models, including those who have an interest in burlesque. Young women such as Deirdre J Lynam for instance. They've tended to delighted to be approached, too, to be asked to model for this event. It's easy to be depressed by the doom and gloom headlines and discussions about this country, and the problems are very real, but let's try and get out of the mire, and help and encourage others to do the same.

The amount of fashion, lifestyle and beauty bloggers out there is unbelievable! Bloggers who have huge audiences and get asked to events and to try products. It's like a whole different world. Usually they have a few different things they do, and do not limit themselves to just one thing. I like that kind of thinking. Ireland is a great country, and Dublin is a great city, and I sincerely hope we win the European City of Culture bid for 2020.

It's like I went to sleep, and woke up and it's a whole different decade. Being 41, and only emerging as a butterfly in the last three years from my chrysalis, and a bit out of touch regarding what's hot and what's not, I've had to research - this is an education for me and I'm just loving it. Thank you Dawn Williams and Jane Bellis of Alternative Fashion Fest for this amazing opportunity to help raise awareness, and money for charity, and also the people I'm getting to talk to. I know that all of us involved in Fashion Fest will treasure this for the rest of our lives, no matter what part we've played.

So now, here comes the "poor mouth", as we say in Ireland. For the Alternative Fashion Fest, we need a cool venue, a charity partner, sponsor, designers, retailers, models and media coverage. Any way people can help us get the word out, please do. One of the best things about Ireland is that it really is like a village, so hopefully that gives us an advantage. We'll be choosing a local charity to support (homelessness and suicides would seem to be he most pressing issues here, although there are many deserving causes), and we're approaching people we think deserve more exposure, whose work we like. Be a part of it :)

New Beginnings Have Just Begun..

Well, actually, the new beginning started three years ago, but any excuse to use a line from a Bucks Fizz song. However, this is the first blog post I've done since the Effexor one, and boy have things changed!

My husband and separated three and a half years ago, I have a boyfriend of three years, and am now living in an apartment in a lovely, small gated development with its own communal garden. The kids love it and the location couldn't be better - right in the town, near the train station. Yeah, that's another thing that's changed. I no longer have the use of a car, but hey,  I'm happy to sit on the train or the bus and let someone else worry about the driving, whilst I listen to cheesy music. I've gone from co-owning three properties and driving a Mercedes, to owning no property and just renting, and driving nothing (yes, I left hubby with ownership of everything). And do you know what, I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm starting a new job with the Vincent De Paul on Monday, have signed with an agency for commercial modelling (even if I never get modelling work I don't care - they were interested!), and am working on developing more opportunities for more freelance work, which I've let slide in the past while, due to this and that.

There's been a seismic shift. I've discovered strength I never dreamed I could have. I'm alive. I've got the things and people that matter. Some people I cut off, deservedly so. And some wonderful people have come into my life.

With that shift in my personal life, there's also been the realisation that most things in this world are not as they seem. It's as if the veil was lifted from my eyes in every way, and one opened the door for the other, as soon as I decided to be true to myself. We are bombarded with false messages and the elites are well and truly screwing us over. It's always going to be this way, and it always was. But we cannot let it get under our skin. We must fight to be happy, and to try to bring happiness to others. We cannot, in practice, live outside the system, but we can try to make it work for us, rather than the other way round. That's why I'm working to be as self sufficient as I possibly can, despite those who might like to see me in the gutter. Hasn't happened yet, and won't happen, sorry to disappoint you feckers, but I'm a strong bitch. I know that now.

Open your minds, follow your gut instincts and work towards your dreams. Even if you don't realise them, at least you can say you tried. It's worse not to try and to fall into a rut. Been there, done that.

Learn as much as you can about life's mysteries. Be around people who create, who are positive. Cling to the light.

Be happy and be fabulous :)